The Ballad of Wachovia - R.I.P.

There once was a man name of Ken
For banking he had quite a yen
Big talker he was
And seldom did pause
To think prior to sharing his spin

He gobbled up firms right and left
Employees from those were bereft
Their jobs were all gone
Possessions they pawned
And Ken told them "Sorry you're miffed"

Ken's star was still rising so fast
And Wachovia's stock unsurpassed
Near 60 it rose
In awe were his foes
But then he acquired Golden West

At top of the bubble he bought
Dissenting opinion he fought
The deal came to past
The stock fell so fast
And havoc on us Ken did wrought

The board finally gave Ken the boot
And Lanty would say "Well now shoot"
"Things ain't all that bad"
"I'll find us a lad"
"To turn things around"
... What a hoot!

So Steel took the offer to come
And told us "Hey don't look so glum"
"I'm from Goldman Sachs"
"Know Treasury's hacks"
"Just watch as I pull out a plum!"

Yet share price continued to fall
And Steel brazened unforeseen gall
On TV Steel went
To Cramer did vent
And said "We can manage it all"

Two weeks later all became clear
As hope quickly turned into fear
Feds said "Sell or seize"
"We ain't saying please"
While Steel played the role of King Lear*

Amidst somber tolling of bells
Steel first sold to C, then to Wells
Shareholders perplexed
Employees quite vexed
Above all were heard screams and yells

We ask, "How can all of this be"
"Misled by Ken, Steel and Lanty"
The deal seems all Donne
This ain't been much fun
We now know the bell tolls for thee**

by blogger Gus with apologies to Wm. Shakespeare and John Donne

* Meantime we shall express our darker purpose.Give me the map there. Know that we have dividedIn three our kingdom: and 'tis our fast intentTo shake all cares and business from our age;Conferring them on younger strengths, while weUnburdened crawl toward death. ... "King Lear" (Act I, Sc I)

**Therefore, send not to know For whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee. ... "For Whom the Bell Tolls"